Here's to never growing up

     Adulthood sucks. I wish I could have stayed a kid forever, but at the same time have all the freedoms of an adult or something, even though that sounds totally unrealistic. For a lot of people, declaring yourself an adult means surrendering a part of yourself.  I don't know how much beef I've gotten for still playing video games, being imaginative, and thinking of wild and fantasy-like scenarios. I'm sometimes embarrassed to admit my dreams of becoming a musical artist or an actor, or a film director or game developer one day, because those things feel less realistic with the passing of each year, and I don't like telling people that these are things I love, because I don't want to hear criticism about getting a "real job." If you're lucky enough, sometimes you can get paid to do shiz like that. Most people aren't that lucky, or they just give up, which I never want to do. But  even as I approach my twenty-fifth birthday, I can feel the child in me slowly fading away, being replaced by something so mundane and painfully grounded in reality. I try to hold on to this wondrously imaginative and passionate part of me, and as it goes further away, slipping from my fingers, I become more and more bitter and lose touch of who I am. I've realized that this is me growing up. I feel less passion for the things I once loved, because so much wonder has been taken out of them, and as I get older, the thought of one day achieving them becomes further away. Hopefully if I believe in them enough and take actions, I can make them happen. Until then, I'll keep looking for a way into Neverland. I can't imagine being trapped in a 9-5 job routine doing something I don't like and am not passionate about, and doing absolutely nothing to leave a legacy or mark on the world. That is my biggest fear in life.